W R E C K E D
The whisper I heard from the enemy not even 24 hours after delivering my beautiful son.
I just finished my first shower post-delivery and caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror. Jesse and Silas were fast asleep and I was left there alone, staring at myself in the mirror in disbelief. “My body is wrecked.” I said. Sighed. Gave myself a sarcastic thumbs up and went back to bed.
With my first pregnancy my body was virtually unchanged. I gained a little weight that didn’t come off before I got pregnant again with #2. It wasn’t too significant but enough to give me a weight gain head start. During the last year I also had a drastic career change which provided a significant decrease in physical activity. With such little movement and a poor diet, I almost doubled my weight gain during pregnancy #2. Friends, our bodies can only take so much. I knew what I was getting myself into.
And before you shoot in the comments about genetics, creams and oils I could have used, hydration, support – I did it all. But still ate like crap and wasn’t active at all. I know how it works… and don’t ask me how much water or how often I oiled or how my moms body handled pregnancy. Friends it’s rude. It places blame in a conversation that is requiring comfort and embrace. Just don’t even go there.
Then there’s the difference in how my kids carried. Mayla carried more internally and higher up. Silas popped right out and laid low.
And no matter how or why or if I even could have prevented it none of that matters. As I stood in the mirror what was done was done. This is the body I was left with and only I have control over what happens next.
Wrecked. That word pilled in my head over and over like a ragged blanket that’s been worn beyond belief.
And I knew the truth. I knew what happened inside of me for the last 9 months and what just happened in the delivery room was a sheer miracle. That my body wasn’t wrecked it beautifully brought life and abundance. That I got to partner in the work of the Lord and my scars are a reminder of the beauty of that work!
And yet all I could hear was that whisper “WRECKED”.
One of my sweet beautiful souls of a friend, Carli started sharing her story about the new found love of her body as a mom and a survivor of PPD. She’s been sharing for a while but hey joy in speaking truth and life over her friends really hit home for me this week as I fought that word in my mind.
I wasn’t going to dwell on it. My body is what it is, but it would be kind of cool if I was proud of it instead of trying to hide what I hate.
Today as I was on the toilet changing my postpartum diaper situation I could see the spider web of stretch marks radiating from my inner thighs, up my saggy abdomen and through my belly button.
I heard the Lords voice so clearly in that moment say
[WORK OF ART]
And I believed it. I felt beautiful and proud. A weight lifted from my shoulders. Deep in my heart my mind was made up. I have something special. My marks that are specially mine. They now remind me of the beauty of child birth and those euphoric moments in the delivery room bringing my children into the world. Their first breath, their first latch, that sacred hour we spent skin on skin before I had to share them with the world.
My body (your body) is a work of art beautifully designed to change as a new life is formed in the womb. Just as the Lord speaks over us in Ephesians 2:10.
And this is why we root ourselves in the word of God every day. Sometimes we don’t know the purpose of what we are reading and then BAM. Out of nowhere the holy presence of God consumes you with His word, dispelling lies from the enemy. Breaking chains and freeing you from captivity.
E M B R A C E
Friends our bodies don’t need to be flat or smooth to be embraced and loved. They don’t need to be without mark or flaw because each irregularity is proof of Gods faithfulness to fulfill his promises. (ooo mind shift!)
I will not obsess over how I’ve changed or the spiderweb artwork that now covers me. I will serve the Lord by loving my family hard & not wasting time shadow boxing lies from the enemy. NOT 👏🏻 WORTH 👏🏻 OUR 👏🏻 TIME 👏🏻
I’ve found more peace in this season from sealing Gods truth in my heart.
Ladies let’s stop entertaining satan and focus our energy where the truth resides.
We are a [W O R K OF A R T]
Not without flaw. Not without mark or irregularity. But individually a work of art to be embraced by the unique design that we are 🤍
Allow the Lord to SHOUT this over you today!
“For we are Godʼs handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Ephesians 2:10 NIV
I shared these photos, not so you could compare your journey to mine or mine to anyone else’s, but to be transparent. To show those who are struggling that it’s okay. Be careful not to invalidate someone else’s walk by comparison 🤍.
I am praying for a breakthrough for each of you who read this today and have been standing in my shoes. I love you and am here to help cover and carry you to the one who holds us all.